similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
