Dual....:-)
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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