What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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