Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
