operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
