Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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