apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize