yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
