Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
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They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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