Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood

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  (718): so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood http://tfl.nu/a9i9
  Replies (11) Good night (621) Bad night (1546)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands

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  (732): A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands http://tfl.nu/nukb
  Replies (37) Good night (861) Bad night (5669)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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  (240): He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half? http://tfl.nu/4690
  Replies (48) Good night (4152) Bad night (1404)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?

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  (570): I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days? http://tfl.nu/o3ms
  Replies (4) Good night (2905) Bad night (995)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.

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  (941): I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/0s5t
  Replies (16) Good night (2962) Bad night (1206)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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  (609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh
  Replies (17) Good night (1170) Bad night (4561)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...

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  (216): You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them... http://tfl.nu/jngm
  Replies (4) Good night (2612) Bad night (737)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU

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  (202): is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU http://tfl.nu/sbbn
  Replies (8) Good night (1077) Bad night (587)
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  (916): View more from California

  WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!

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  (916): WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!! http://tfl.nu/wbdy
  Replies (10) Good night (938) Bad night (2620)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.

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  (+44): You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/86pw
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (394)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.

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  (215): I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames. http://tfl.nu/kido
  Replies (9) Good night (734) Bad night (315)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?

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  (303): A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car. (775): You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car? http://tfl.nu/g6l0
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (227)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.

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  (402): I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth. (402): Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering. http://tfl.nu/qwlh
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (319)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Daily.

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  (702): Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision (970): Daily. http://tfl.nu/0fgj
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (252)
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  (818): View more from California

  It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket

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  (818): It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket http://tfl.nu/tfcl
  Replies (0) Good night (272) Bad night (651)

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