my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I want her autograph on my taint
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
