RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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