i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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