my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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