Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
