I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
