I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize