Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
