Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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