Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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