We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize