Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
