I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
