She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize