My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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