next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
