The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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