I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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