It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he thought i was a dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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