Umm I'm too high to move.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
