This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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