My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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