Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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