I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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