My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize