I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You ruined the universe
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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