marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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