It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
