i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it because I queefed?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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