i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
