I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is Oprah even human
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
