I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
