I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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