Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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