Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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