she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
