i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
