I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
