yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
