in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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