is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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