Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
