Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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