We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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