HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
