did you get engaged???
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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