At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
