I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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