Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
