Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
