No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
