This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
